Little Town. Big Town.

As a small town girl that now lives in a bigger town, I regularly see the differences in living in the two, even though the towns are in the same state and only about an hour away from each other.  With me growing up in a small town, it is probably natural that I feel a better connection with the ways of a small town.  I feel that is ok, though!  That defines how I was raised, my ways, my norm, and feelings about issues and the ways within a town.  Perhaps, I have a "Mayberry" kind of connection to how I feel about small towns. 

I was born and raised in the small town of Lumberton, MS and my family has deep roots within that part of Mississippi.  Many people that live in or around Lumberton have probably heard Lumberton mentioned on the news or other media, and a good bit of it may have been negative information.  "There is no money left.... The mayor has done this or that....  All of the businesses are closing....  Only a particular race group lives there...  The school is not up-to-date....  The school is a ___ school.... "  Every time I hear something negative about Lumberton, I get rubbed the wrong way.  I find myself defending the town and people, naturally.  What I find is very sad is how people that grew up there, along with having family settled there years before their time, are part of the criticizing.  What a shame and disgrace!  That town provided a place for their homes to be built, provided stores that fed them, provided other people to build relationships (friends) with, provided churches to freely worship God as chosen, provided a small school to give them the education they are functioning off of today, and implanted a bunch of memories that are probably some of the most precious ones they will ever hold close!  Perhaps, they are just trying to fit in with a specific group of people that use to point a negative finger to the small town of Lumberton.  This still does not allow it to be acceptable, considering the blessings they received while growing up there.  This town was considered a blessing from God by having a place to LIVE and GROW. 

I feel that I can strongly state how I feel about this, simply because for the last decade, I have been living in a larger town. I live in Laurel, where there is a Wal-Mart, a shopping mall, a movie cinema, restaurant chains, more than enough churches, and my children get to attend a 5A school within the county.  Many times, I have felt out of place in Laurel and like I do not belong here.  I think that this is a natural way of feeling, considering that I come from a much smaller town and attended a 2A school while growing up.  Even though the distance between Laurel and Lumberton is about an hour, the differences between the two towns are considerable.  The way people conduct business, the outlook of the purpose of the churches, the schools, and the people are all different.  I still get asked all of the time when I am out and about in Laurel where I am from, because of my southern accent.  (I am still trying to figure that one out - are these folks originally from the north part of the country, or what?!)  At first, I did not really mind it, but after about 10 years, it does get old and feels like an insult. I am not trying to lash out at the folks in Laurel, but I am being honest and stating how being asked numerous times, "Where are you from?" gets old. I have a right to take up for myself.  ;-) Honestly, I have long learned to laugh this off and I always proudly tell them, "I am from Lumberton". 

Having said that, let me clear myself in a "touchy" area and state that I do not dislike Laurel or its surroundings. I actually feel that Laurel, along with all of Jones County, is a good place to call home.  There are a number of benefits from living in a larger town versus a small town. Living in a larger town, like Laurel, has allowed me to also see its advantages. The options for being closer to businesses to provide people with their daily needs, along with having children the opportunity to be a part in a bigger school, along with a number of activities is a plus.  If my children get sick, I can drive about 10 minutes to the doctor and have them cared for appropriately and this is definitely important.  Our children also are able to be part of an incredible children's ministry through our church that we are involved in.  I am truly grateful for these advantages and additional opportunities, as I well know that living in a smaller town has limits, as far as these.

Having a husband that grew up in Laurel, I well know how he feels "at home" by being settled in Laurel.  (Much like I feel "at home" in Lumberton.) After the birth of our second child back in 2006, my husband received a wonderful job opportunity and we nearly moved to Jackson, MS. I was in full support of us relocating, simply because I felt that I had already up-rooted myself from my normal territory of raising and I wanted my husband to have the best opportunity of success for himself.  He was actually excited about the move, and so was I.  After we found a house that we were approved for and it started to look like we were seriously preparing to move, he got really down and depressed for few days.  I realized what it was, because I knew that feeling.  When he was ready, he admitted to me he just could not leave Jones County and his immediate family around Laurel.  He got emotional and told me that he had a feeling deep inside that we needed to stay.  I told him that I supported him wanting to stay and I would support what he felt was best - so, we cancelled our offer on the house and we stayed.  Simple as that. Well, in a way it was simple... Our home we were living in at that time in Laurel had sold, so we had to find another home, which has ended up being ok, because my husband already had land.  We managed to do what we needed to do to ensure that we could establish another home and my husband continued doing what he loves to do, which is working for himself as a floor installer.  This experience definitely brought me back to how I missed my hometown of Lumberton, just as my husband was feeling like he was about to abandon his hometown of Laurel.

Above photo:  City Hall of Laurel.  Retrieved from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/courthouselover/3125450399/

Above photo:  Jones County Courthouse for Laurel and Ellisville.  Retrieved from:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/courthouselover/3125450441/

I often get so homesick when I rewind to all of my fond memories while living in Lumberton, MS.  Some of my favorite memories while in Lumberton are:  Going to the park, going to the former Rheams Jewelry Store, the Piggly Wiggly/Greers to get groceries with my mama, marching in the band from the band hall to the football field for games, being a cheerleader and throwing plastic footballs to the fans, seeing my teachers from school in town and them recognizing who I was, knowing that the teachers grew up with my parents, making the best of friends at school, the old Bill's Dollar Store that seemed to have just what we needed, learning to drive down Main Street, the Lights of Lumberton, the baseball games at the field by the park, Panther Stadium, (Oh, the thrill of a smalltown football game!), the homecoming parade, going to the the old Davis Cleaners, going with my family to get medication at John's Discount Drugstore, going to the Post Office and not having to wait in a long line, my list could go on .... The people, the businesses, the churches, and the ways were just simple and kind. I had some of the best friends while growing up in Lumberton.  It did not matter if their parents were poor or rich, if they wered, red, black or white, lived on the west or the east side - those factors  were not a part of how I made my friends while growing up in Lumberton.  The quality of the character is how I made my friends growing up in Lumberton and, I still honor this today.  I think that a combination of my parents up-bringing, positive influences from those that I was around daily, and being a part of a small town contributed to the quality of my friendships.  As I make my regular visits to my hometown of Lumberton, MS, as I see the "Lumberton" sign off of the interstate, I feel that I am getting a big "welcome home" hug. Every time I go to Lumberton, I usually always run into people that I know, that watched me grow up, or grew up with me.  The feeling of belonging somewhere is what I always experience. I think that I will always feel this way about Lumberton, MS....... The relationships that I built while growing up there still remain strong and true today. 

Above Photo:  Lumberton Post Office on Hwy 11, retrieved from:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/patrick_q/244696913/

 

Above Photo:  Davis Cleaners on Main Street of Lumberton, retrieved from:http://www.flickr.com/photos/patrick_q/250040439/

I felt I needed to share my personal feelings in this blog, so that I can explain how I have noticed the differences in being a part of a small town and big town.  I have not intended on criticizing either of the two towns mentioned, but rather wanted to share my outlook and explain how I personally feel about it.  Who knows?  Maybe someone else feels like this?   A part of me also felt led to defend my hometown, as well.  I am tremendously blessed to have had the opportunity to grow up in the small town of Lumberton and to now be a part of the bigger town of Laurel.  I enjoy the life that I have built with my husband and our two wonderful children we share in Jones County.  I respect the town of Laurel, my family through my husband, my friends that I have made here, all of the people, and I will do my best to serve the town and county as a civil resident and raise my children to do the same.  However, Lumberton, MS will always remain as the place where my roots embedded and this small part of South Mississippi will always be a part of me - this small town resembles who I am, how I feel about certain issues, and it is where I come from, and I am proud of having the chance to grow up there. 

Above photo: Some of the 1995 - 1996 LHS Cheerleaders,

Retrieved from the LHS 1996 annual. 

The Light is Blinking

Almost another year... that is how long it has been since I last posted on here.  (Shame on me!) My reason for this is because I have been living inside of a whirl wind and trying to keep up!  Is that really a good excuse? Every time I have gotten on the computer, it has mostly been to prepare school assignments, pay bills, check emails, and try to keep up with my Facebook account, so that folks think that I am still among the living.  This Summer has truly been a challenging one for me and it is flying right past me.  I have been trying to keep my sweet kiddos happy, my wonderful husband taken care of, and trying to finish my final trimester of the program I am in at William Carey University.

Have I mentioned how wonderful husband?  I think that I have.  :)  He has really been there for me this Summer.  He has encouraged me, taken extra time with the kids, cooked (Yes!  Really!!!), and has done a lot of extra things that he normally does not have to do.  Cole and Kara have been really busy this Summer with their activities.  They are learning how to ride their ponies and have been in a horse show almost every weekend.  What joy they bring my heart, especially when I see how much they enjoy learning to ride!  Cole has been spending "dude time" with his daddy a lot. They have been riding horses together, going to the deer camp, playing yard football, 4-wheelin'...all of that fun stuff they like to get into!  Kara has been going with them some - when they let her.  ;-)  She has been practicing with her flag cheerleading squad and practicing gymnastics. Yes, we are busy!  But, I can not imagine it any other way.

For the past month, on top of keeping up with my school assignment in my 2 summer courses - my last 2 courses, by the way!  In addition to keeping up with what is going on in my courses, I have also been busy researching and trying to brush up my writing skills for my master comprehensive exams.  Talk about having your nerves worked on and feeling stressed to the max!  (Whew!) I started preparing at the first of the Spring, but I really started focusing on it during May. I am honestly not sure I fully prepared for it the way that I needed to.  On July 7th, bright and early, I took my comprehensive exam at William Carey University. My drive to the campus felt like it was the quickest drive ever.  I remember as I pulled up to the security guard at the entrance gate, I was thinking to myself, "What! I am here already!?"  I parked my truck, gathered my materials (pencils, student ID, money), and walked to the building where I was scheduled to take my exam. Several students were there and I found 2 of my classmates and joined them.  We briefly had a chance to say, "hello", and , and then Dr. Morris opened the door and said it was time.  After I checked in, I went to the restroom and thought I may vomit.  (Sorry!  I was a nervous gal!) I did not vomit after all, thank God!  I told myself, "Amy!  Get a grip! Pray! Focus! Calm your end down!"  I walked to the classroom that I was assigned to take my exam and patiently waited with the other students assigned in the classroom with me.  The proctor professor finally came in.  She was such a pleasant woman! She encouraged us and she prayed with us.  I felt immediate peace within myself.  Dr. Morris soon came in. He provided us with directions and prayed with us, as well.  After he left, the proctor professor began with specific instructions and started passing out envelopes that contained our questions to choose from. For my program, I was required to answer 1 questions and then I could choose 2 questions.  We had an hour per questions.  The exam was handwritten with pencil and needed to be around 500 words.  As I opened my envelope, I saw my question list and was both nervous and thankful.

Show time! I started my exam and felt shaky, but was praying that I was remembering all of the information and resources that I needed. After I answered my 3 questions, I looked up at the time and there was still 30 minutes left.  I thought,"Oh, no!  I finished early?  I hope my answers are not too short!" So, I quickly scanned over my answers for any errors, but I was so nervous, I do not know if it helped!  I decided to pray and turn my examination booklets in to the proctor professor. I left the campus with so many feelings and emotions.  Part of me was so thankful and the other part was a nervous wreck!  As of now, I still do not know if I have passed that exam or failed. I am trying to be open minded about it.  If I pass, it will be a relief and I will feel very thankful!  If I fail, I will just try again. I admit, I am not a good school paper writing type of gal.  I have always loved English and did really well, but when it comes to all of the do's and don'ts for writing research papers and article reviews, I guess I just write and accidentally forget all of those writing rules.  Being a college student has tremendously helped me in that area. Regardless of the outcome of my comprehensive exam results, at least I am almost done with my final 2 classes!  If I pass those 2 classes and pass the comps, I can graduate in August! What a  hopeful feeling!  I can almost see the light!  The light is blinking!

***I have no idea why part of this is highlighted white.  I have tried to correct it, but the correction will not save. Must be a buggy issue or something.


Going back to school and finishing what I started during my junior college years has allowed me to grow in so many ways.  As of now, I do not have a job. I am going to have faith that God has a plan for me, pass out my resume, and take it one day at a time.  If you are reading my post and know of a job for me, let me know.  :)  I am first and foremost a child of God, a wife, and a mama, so that job will be a priority, of course.  Thank-you for reading my post. God bless.